to one who has my heart

I have given you my heart,soul,mind,body and trust which are all things that are hard for me to do but I did them with you. I trust you with my love and love you unconditionally. You have had me for so long and now that there have been problems between you and this body you seem to not care that I am not the one who hurt you or anything and that you hurt me. I fight so hard for you to see me as one who you can love and who truly does love you and wants only you. I fight to show you how happy we are together and can still be if you would just be with only me like you say you wish to be. I put my soul and heart into the emails,cards,gifts and things i send to you or write you and stuff to show you how much I truly am In love with you and want you. I try to show you how special you are to me and how much you mean to me. You know that when you were gone before, I was dead and alone till you came back then I was happy and complete again. We have a bond that no other will ever be able to share with me or with you. My love for you has always been here and always will for you are the one of my heart and soul. you captured it a very long time ago and have yet to let go. When I think of the fact that I may be alone in this relationship and I may lose you again due to stupid reasons, I feel the pieces of my heart break and they stab me and I do not feel the pain till its too late.I trust you more than I do anyone else and I open up to you more than anyone else, too. Yet, now I wonder at times if you truly do love me and mean what you say or if you are just playing me for fool like so many say you are. I cry at night due to the confusion and pain I feel over all this yet when I look at the pics of us and think of the wonderful times we've shared and fact that we still have plans set to get married, I smile and wish for it all to be true. Why must I be IN LOVE with you if you do not want me or truly love me? Why must I suffer for what Tina did to you when all I have ever done is love you,talk to you, be here for you and be a good girlfriend/wife to you? You have my heart and I have told you that I never want it back and that is true for if you give it back then I am truly dead. You shall always be a part of me, my love. Why must you let fear keep you away from me when you have told me you love me and want me?I can not change what things have been done in past but I can show you that you are loved by me and wanted and hope that soon you will stop fighting what we have and be with me since Tina has told you that she will not be out with you. I love you and want you and always have and will. You are my love and life and I can not think of life without you again. Please stop fighting what we feel and give me a shot and let us be happy as we are when we hang out and such. You are the only one I have ever loved or will ever love and want my love. You and I help make each other better and let each other be our true selves and we are in love with each other at least I know for sure I m in love with you. I hate the fact that I am in this body that has hurt you in past but I am not her nor would I ever treat you like she has. You have told me that you know I am not her yet you treat me like her now and it kills me more than losing you did. You truly are the love of my life and the keeper of my heart and soul and always shall be. I want to know that the one who says he loves me, wants me,dreams of me and so forth means the words he says to me and does not say them just to make me happy. I want the man who lets me into his life like I do him and loves me as much as I love him and will give us the chance to be happy as are when we talk and hang out. My love for you will never die nor my dreams but please stop treating me like the one who hurt you and see me as the kitty that you call me and the girl you say you are in love with. I am yours till I die and my love is yours till then too. May we have the future that we have talked about and planned, my love. I love you and am only yours forever and always