why am IN LOVE with someone who may not love me?
why is it that he is the only one who completes me, gets me to open up so easy, gets me to be myself, trust him completely,and is the only man I have ever been able to fall IN LOVE with?
why is this one man the only man I have ever been able to see and feel a future with let alone a marriage?
why do I wish for him to see me differently then the one who hurt him though he may never do that?
why does it hurt to know that I love him so and want him so yet may never have him be with me the way we are meant to be?
why am I able to keep on putting on smiles when I just want to cry and hide?
why is it that I must suffer for being In Love with him, wanting him,caring about him and more just because I am part of the one who did hurt him?
why must he tell me he wants me and loves me and we are together yet he is not here with me?
why oh why must I be so IN LOVE with him yet not be able to be happy with him like I want to be?
I would never hurt him on purpose,lie to him,change him,or anything but be there for him, love him, care for him, cherish him, and so much more. We may have problems but I would be willing to talk them out,not push him away or ever cheat on him. I am in love with one person and wish he would give me a chance for I am not the one who hurt him and we have never had problems.
why must i hurt to be in love yet not want to stop being in love with him?
why won't you give me a shot when you say you love me,want me,see a future with me and are happiest when you are with me? why must you let fear keep you away from me?
why?????
Friday, December 21, 2007
Lost and confused
I sit here right now wondering what to do about things in my life. I feel as if I am losing half of my heart,soul,mind and body yet do not know what to do. Is it possible for one person to truly become a part of you where you feel half there when they are not around yet complete when they are? If so, then I have found the one who does that to me. I found that person long ago and yet I fear I will never be able to make them happy yet they make me happy and I love them for who they really are. There are other things in my life that are making me wonder and I try to talk about them but I just do not know how to do so. It is easier for me to keep things bottled up then to talk. I feel so alone and tired yet I know I have people in my life who love me and are here for me. I am so tempted to go back to my old self yet somehow keep a part of the person I have become lately.I guess I should just let the part of me that wants to go back to old ways win for then I do not feel pain or anything. I do not know what to do and that makes me confused.
does anyone know what its like...
to be in love with someone for nine years knowing that you have had good times as well as bad with that person and still do,knowing that you have both made mistakes and treated it like it was a teenage love thing till later on you realize what you both did and say you want to work on those problems yet one of you doesnt keep to that though tells you that they want you and know you belong together? To know that you feel complete and full when you are with them even apart but yet together you feel as if you have found your other half of your soul and heart and to know that they are the only one you wish to marry? To have let that person go once before and regretted it for the whole time they were gone?
I have and I am in love with someone who has had my heart and soul for the past 9 years now and counting and his name is Jason. He got me to trust him right away when we first met when I was 17 and he is the only person I know who I have let in fully and that is something that has scared me about him*not as much now*. It is part of reason why we broke up when I was 19 and I have regretted it big time since then for I felt dead when he was gone. Yet, when he came back last year, I felt whole again and as if my world was right again.We got real close again and when we saw each other last year it was as if nothing had changed and it felt right again. Sadly, my fears got a hold of me again and I withdrew from him and that caused us to have a miscommunication this year which I regret. That miscommunication is why he is now with me and another woman and torn as he says. We have talked about us and what we want from each other and both agree that we have to stop treating our love like we are teenagers and talk out our problems not run or push. We both have said that we belong together and never want to part. I wish we could be just with each other and forget the past and just work on our love and what we feel for each other like we have talked about with each other in the past month and the bond we know is there. He has told me that he thinks of us being together and wants it as much as i do.
I know that I love him and want him as my man and would love to have the future that we have always talked about. I have only been able to see,taste,feel and hear wedding when it comes to him. He makes me feel things I have never felt before and I know there is a reason why we fit together so greatly. If we were not meant to be then he would never have come back nor would we keep feeling as if we belong together.I feel like myself when I am with him and am able to be open with him. I feel as if no one understands me but him and that I do not have to hide anything from him which is wonderful. He is the only one to make my heart beat faster, to make me nervous yet happy, and to make me feel completely whole. Our love is the one thing that has gotten me through alot of things in the past several years and has helped me change the way my life was.
I am truly done running away and pushing him away for I know he is the one I love and wish to one day marry.
Jason, please give us another shot and let us give our love true chance for we both know we love each other and belong together. I am sorry for my part in the pain and like I told you that day we seriously talked I truly can see us making it if we talk out problems,stop letting others come between us and are honest with each other and not run/push. i love you and want you with me just like you say you want to be with me as well. Here is our chance to truly be together my love.
I love you and always have and will just like you
I have and I am in love with someone who has had my heart and soul for the past 9 years now and counting and his name is Jason. He got me to trust him right away when we first met when I was 17 and he is the only person I know who I have let in fully and that is something that has scared me about him*not as much now*. It is part of reason why we broke up when I was 19 and I have regretted it big time since then for I felt dead when he was gone. Yet, when he came back last year, I felt whole again and as if my world was right again.We got real close again and when we saw each other last year it was as if nothing had changed and it felt right again. Sadly, my fears got a hold of me again and I withdrew from him and that caused us to have a miscommunication this year which I regret. That miscommunication is why he is now with me and another woman and torn as he says. We have talked about us and what we want from each other and both agree that we have to stop treating our love like we are teenagers and talk out our problems not run or push. We both have said that we belong together and never want to part. I wish we could be just with each other and forget the past and just work on our love and what we feel for each other like we have talked about with each other in the past month and the bond we know is there. He has told me that he thinks of us being together and wants it as much as i do.
I know that I love him and want him as my man and would love to have the future that we have always talked about. I have only been able to see,taste,feel and hear wedding when it comes to him. He makes me feel things I have never felt before and I know there is a reason why we fit together so greatly. If we were not meant to be then he would never have come back nor would we keep feeling as if we belong together.I feel like myself when I am with him and am able to be open with him. I feel as if no one understands me but him and that I do not have to hide anything from him which is wonderful. He is the only one to make my heart beat faster, to make me nervous yet happy, and to make me feel completely whole. Our love is the one thing that has gotten me through alot of things in the past several years and has helped me change the way my life was.
I am truly done running away and pushing him away for I know he is the one I love and wish to one day marry.
Jason, please give us another shot and let us give our love true chance for we both know we love each other and belong together. I am sorry for my part in the pain and like I told you that day we seriously talked I truly can see us making it if we talk out problems,stop letting others come between us and are honest with each other and not run/push. i love you and want you with me just like you say you want to be with me as well. Here is our chance to truly be together my love.
I love you and always have and will just like you
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